I’ve had teachers like this. They insisted that only things that exist a century after creator died are true classics and anything else is drivel… And would then say they’re a fan of music from the 70s and 80s. I would flunk those classes because fuck them.
At the same time, I knew some great teachers that actually wanted to teach their students and were excited to learn themselves and share what they know. I loved those teachers, since they made ME excited to learn all over again.
I mean you could’ve made some suggestions, teach. There are kids books other then Goosebumps. Anything by Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary or Roald Dahl perhaps? Heck the latter makes stuff that’ll make Goosebumps feel tame in comparison.
I get where the teacher is coming from – airport literature is a blatant cash grab – but these kids *ALREADY DID THE REPORTS*. You don’t get to erase the entire assignment just because the entire class is into Goosebumps at around the same time.
It’d be funny if Jenny convinced the class to do book reports on Gothic Horror books like Frankenstein or Dracula or Frankenstein just to spite the teacher – yeah they’re considered “classics” but they’ll still fit right in with the Goosebumps vibe (and honestly? Once you get past the format, Dracula’s probably an easier read than half of those Goosebumps stories)
This teacher is clearly a condescending literature elitist snob, but I’ll say this for him: at least he does seem to actually care about his students’ education, however misguided his views may be. That puts him leagues ahead of Tucker, who wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if the kids never read anything but newspaper comic strips for the rest of their lives.
Ah yes, *real books”, as in the select handful of older works decreed by elitist snobs as the only ones that get to count as valid literature based purely on the sole metric that they’re old!
Yes I know I shat on Goosebumps just yesterday but this is bigger than that. This damn sentiment was all over the 90s. Video games are bad for books because they’re “inherently” inferior to reading. Cartoons are “inherently” inferior to reading. That 1 fucking Tiny Toons episode that told kids to stop watching TV. The news hounds, politicians, and parent groups that continuously attack children’s TV and video games for their violence while ignoring how violent (and racist) old books were.
And no one was allowed to ever argue a counterpoint against it all. You’re weren’t allowed to say you didn’t like Moby Dick in your book report, that’s an immediate failing grade right there!
Ah, “quality literature,” a bane of my elementary-school existence. We want you to read! But not THOSE books, THESE (boring) books. You don’t want our approved books? Well, now you’re REQUIRED to read at least one a week! Fuck you, Mrs. G, for doing your best to ruin reading for my 10-year-old self.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you discourage kids from reading altogether.
At least they are not in Poland (and also not in high school) where they’d have to read “Nad Niemnem” (“By the River Niemen”) which is an absolute brick of a book and predominantly consists of landscape descriptions… so much so that the reader’s eyes can glaze over and make him or her mentally shut down… speaking from experience…
Oooooh, THAT’s a rookie move! You give fifth-graders that kind of limitation, they start thinking of it as a challenge. You’d expect more from a teacher of his experience, wouldn’t you?
I’ve had teachers like this. They insisted that only things that exist a century after creator died are true classics and anything else is drivel… And would then say they’re a fan of music from the 70s and 80s. I would flunk those classes because fuck them.
At the same time, I knew some great teachers that actually wanted to teach their students and were excited to learn themselves and share what they know. I loved those teachers, since they made ME excited to learn all over again.
I mean you could’ve made some suggestions, teach. There are kids books other then Goosebumps. Anything by Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary or Roald Dahl perhaps? Heck the latter makes stuff that’ll make Goosebumps feel tame in comparison.
I get where the teacher is coming from – airport literature is a blatant cash grab – but these kids *ALREADY DID THE REPORTS*. You don’t get to erase the entire assignment just because the entire class is into Goosebumps at around the same time.
It’d be funny if Jenny convinced the class to do book reports on Gothic Horror books like Frankenstein or Dracula or Frankenstein just to spite the teacher – yeah they’re considered “classics” but they’ll still fit right in with the Goosebumps vibe (and honestly? Once you get past the format, Dracula’s probably an easier read than half of those Goosebumps stories)
This teacher is clearly a condescending literature elitist snob, but I’ll say this for him: at least he does seem to actually care about his students’ education, however misguided his views may be. That puts him leagues ahead of Tucker, who wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if the kids never read anything but newspaper comic strips for the rest of their lives.
Ugh. I hated when teachers would move the goalpost like that.
They were like, “We want you kids to read books.” And then we did, but they were like, “No, not THOSE books!”
And then they wonder why kids lack interest in reading afterwards.
Give them all a copy of Charlotte’s Web, teach.
Ah yes, *real books”, as in the select handful of older works decreed by elitist snobs as the only ones that get to count as valid literature based purely on the sole metric that they’re old!
Yes I know I shat on Goosebumps just yesterday but this is bigger than that. This damn sentiment was all over the 90s. Video games are bad for books because they’re “inherently” inferior to reading. Cartoons are “inherently” inferior to reading. That 1 fucking Tiny Toons episode that told kids to stop watching TV. The news hounds, politicians, and parent groups that continuously attack children’s TV and video games for their violence while ignoring how violent (and racist) old books were.
And no one was allowed to ever argue a counterpoint against it all. You’re weren’t allowed to say you didn’t like Moby Dick in your book report, that’s an immediate failing grade right there!
Ah, “quality literature,” a bane of my elementary-school existence. We want you to read! But not THOSE books, THESE (boring) books. You don’t want our approved books? Well, now you’re REQUIRED to read at least one a week! Fuck you, Mrs. G, for doing your best to ruin reading for my 10-year-old self.
He didn’t say nothin’ about Fear Street or Christopher Pike!
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you discourage kids from reading altogether.
At least they are not in Poland (and also not in high school) where they’d have to read “Nad Niemnem” (“By the River Niemen”) which is an absolute brick of a book and predominantly consists of landscape descriptions… so much so that the reader’s eyes can glaze over and make him or her mentally shut down… speaking from experience…
Oooooh, THAT’s a rookie move! You give fifth-graders that kind of limitation, they start thinking of it as a challenge. You’d expect more from a teacher of his experience, wouldn’t you?
Bad news: Teachers are worse than parents.
Good news: The girl with the pigtails finally has a name: Marylee.
Not really helping your case in the last panel, Eric.
Never really got into Goosebumps as a kid
To be fair, when EVERYONE focuses on the same franchise, it doesn’t feel as unique unless the topic was specifically about that franchise :p
What a boring boomer!