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December 9, 1995
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  • Aidan Fitzpatrick on March 7, 1996
  • JIMENOPOLIX on March 7, 1996
  • Red Rain on March 7, 1996
  • Superior Gorilla on March 7, 1996
  • Anon on March 7, 1996

December 9, 1995

Dec09
by jbwarner86 on December 9, 2025 at 12:00 am
Chapter: 12/4/95 - 12/10/95: Ventura Highway
└ Tags: Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Eric, Steve
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Discussion (12) ¬

  1. Red Rain
    December 10, 2025, 12:02 am | #

    Said a little too much there, bub.

  2. heathinvader
    December 9, 2025, 4:13 pm | #

    @JIMENOPOLIX He probably can’t. I personally know what it’s like to feel stuck at a thankless, low-paying job only because I had no other source I could get cash from. He’s probably in the same scenario here, or at least a similar one. Nevertheless, how he went about handling it was the problem. He should’ve just looked for work elsewhere, sending job applications and resumes, before landing a new job so he could leave the old one. Would’ve certainly been a lot easier than being a lizard tail thief, I would imagine. It certainly would’ve been a lot more likely to work then (1995) than it is now, that’s for sure.

  3. BBkat
    December 9, 2025, 11:00 am | #

    This is basically just, the Team Rocket Slowpoke tail plot/scheme from the gen 2 pokemon games haha

  4. Chris Wolvie
    December 9, 2025, 1:30 am | #

    Hey, wait a sec…that CAN’T be Henry! That lizard’s not a virgin!

    (They can tell that?! Oh,…)

  5. GumbyIsInnocent
    December 9, 2025, 12:31 am | #

    As Clarence once said…

    “Don’t worry. It’ll grow back. And i think it’ll grow into a full lizard again.”

  6. JIMENOPOLIX
    December 9, 2025, 12:28 am | #

    “All I wanted was to escape the underpaid grind of a public school teacher!”

    Then why didn’t you quit and look for another job? Why did you resort to stealing living creatures to abuse for money?

  7. El-Man
    December 9, 2025, 12:25 am | #

    Didn’t think this one through, didja, pal? 🙄

  8. TheEye
    December 9, 2025, 12:15 am | #

    OKAY, this bastard should be locked up for animal cruelty!

    Losing a tail is a lizard’s last resort in a life-or-death situation. And once they do drop their tail, it takes them months to regrow it, which costs energy, nutrients, and that’s not mentioning the strain on their immune system.
    Also, the regrown tail is usually shorter than it originally was! It’s not infinite jerky!!!

    Plus, not every lizard can regrow a tail. Early internet info was super flawed, and if he got the info from the wrong “trust-me-bro” source, he’d end up crippling a poor animal…

    He’d sooner end up with a fuck-ton of dead lizards (all dying from stress and injury) than a get-rich-quick scheme.

    Oh yeah, and the THEFT!

    CHRIST, this dude is a low life…

  9. wingweaver84
    December 9, 2025, 12:04 am | #

    Got to admit it,that’s kind of a clever idea if it’s true that the tails grow back. Sure it’s painful to the lizards (which is why I’m not 100% for it) but it still sounds interesting. And here I was thinking Andrew and Ryan were the culprits.

    And for once,the adult in the room is not being an asshole (if you exclude the fact that he openly stole them from a pet store).

  10. Superior Gorilla
    December 9, 2025, 12:02 am | #

    And he did end up behind bars XD

  11. FireballDragon
    December 9, 2025, 12:02 am | #

    At least his sentencing is gonna be a lot lighter than Ron and Phyl’s.

  12. TheJayster99
    December 9, 2025, 12:01 am | #

    Never get in the way of a child and his pet lizard.

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